Note, this is how I do AA’s step 4. Not a guru, not your sponsor, not the only way to do this.
You will need in addition to the previous supplies mentioned, a ruler and pencil. Possibly a separate notebook for this step alone. On my first 4 step, I used a financial planner with many columns. You could try this if it will work for you.
Read BB page 64 to 71, 12×12 step 4 chapter.
You will also want to review your step work and the reading done up to this point. Is there anything you have left out? You will need your drinking/using history from step one for some of this.
In your notebook or financial planner, make columns or use the first column for the names, places, ideas, institutions and situations that caused us to feel injustice. Go down the column and only list these things. Don’t do anything else yet. This is your mega all-time grudge list. Name it all. It’s quite cathartic.
Next column, next to each listing in column 1, write down what caused it. Do not move on to the 3rd column until column 2 is finished for all of it.
Column 3: Affects… Next to each, mark down if the resentment/situation affects your SE (self-esteem), Sec (Security), A (ambitions), PR (personal relationships), SR (sexual relationships), P (pocketbook, or finances), F(fear), Note: You will often find more names to add to the resentment list the more you dig, I certainly did. Go ahead and add them to column 1, and write down the cause as you find them.
Re-read last paragraph page 66 through page 67 again. Column 4, prayer list. Do nothing with this column yet.
Column 5 see page 67 again. How can I be helpful to them/others?
Column 6 see page 67, Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, or frightened?
Column 7, see page 67. Where were we to blame?
Column 8 see page 48. What was my sin involved, use the 7 deadly sins list.
Column 9. page 69 BB. Whom had we hurt?
Column 10. Was I self-pitied or depressed?
Column 11. Did we unjustifyably arouse jealousy, suspition or bitterness? Page 69 BB
Column 12. What should we have done instead?
Column 13 Was the relationship selfish or not?
Column 14 Was I filled with anger, worry, self-pity, or depression? P 69 BB
Stop! Take a 24 hour break
We move on to list 2, Fears.
Do the exact same columns as the resentments list.
Column 15, Has self-reliance failed us?
Column 16, Did we set the ball rolling? Were we at fault?
Read page 251 BB and page 551 BB
We ask Him to remove our fears and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once we commenced to outgrow fear. Page 68 BB
Stop! Take a 24 Hour Break!
Lists 3 and 4 Personal and Sexual Relationships and people we have harmed.
Duplicate the columns in List 1 and 2 one thing you may notice, that most of the names on the resentment list will end up here.
Column 17, Do we owe an amends for our part? Leave room for Column 18, Am I willing to make amends? Do not fill that in yet, that’s for a future step.
Add every person’s name listed above to a prayer list.
List 5 Character ASSETS
List the things you did right, the things about you that are positives, the things about you that are good.
Other parts you perhaps could include….
Financial Inventory, Employment Inventory, Legal Inventory… Information on those is included in the 12×12
Never do this type of inventory without a sponsor. It’s hard core AF.
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