Month: February 2020

Hello all, been trapped in the office all day while the temperature outside drops to lower than dismal. Well, it will be lower than dismal tomorrow.

I’m seriously reconsidering this cold as heck lifestyle in Minnesota. Then again, I can’t go out there anyways, so what am I complaining about?

Tomorrow I’m running away to a town about 60 miles in another direction. I’m going to visit friends and such, get a good meeting in, and enjoy the evening. I’m very excited.

On the knitting front, the wedding shawl bottomed out. It’s in the frog pile. Thankfully there was plenty of yarn, and tonight I’m settling in with some needles, some cherry sugar free beverages, and episodes of MASH.

On the recovery front, I’ve been working on letting go of things. I’m not successful at it, but its a work in progress. It’s also part of being an adult.

One thing I’ve been working on is my religious beliefs. My Sunday school attendance as a child was sporadic at best. I didn’t learn most of what I want to know about my religion. So last night, rather than completely lose my mind, I used washi tape and put some of the things I’ve wanted to learn up on my filing cabinet.

All through the day, I’ve looked over, and recited this simple prayer in my head. It works.

That’s about all the update I have for now. Take care,

-L

Morning all,

Just sitting here, waiting for the latest in a long line of delivery drivers who come to the house. Today’s deliveries? Range from incontinence padding to tomato seeds. . . I think.

Being of a nerdly bent, with a very limited income, I try like hell to bend the interwebs to my will. I scrounge sites for the best prices with free shipping or limited shipping costs for me and mine.

We get everything from our groceries to my recovery literature online. What this means in the long run, is that I watch shipping times like a hawk, and try to time the shipping so that we don’t run out of things before the next shipment arrives.

The thing is, websites lie, and I’ve caught them in several. It seems that businesses don’t have to run a program of rigorous honesty like I do. So, there are times when a product is on back order.

This week I was sweating it. Being of certain medical issues, I can’t make it to the can in time most of the time. Last month, I ordered the needful to deal with this issue from Walmart grocery, but was mortified that there wasn’t as much available as I would need for the month.

I do keep an emergency stock of items that were less than stellar when I first purchased them as back ups. This month, I ordered from Walmart.com themselves. I planned ahead, and ordered a 6 week supply.

I’d also ordered a wheelchair, (which I am currently sitting in), garden seeds, two seat cushions, and a dress. My two splurge items where some schlock from wish.com. I thought nothing of it when I ordered. There was the grocery order, which I place, set a pickup time and go to get.

Yet, the personal supplies caused an issue. It seems that either I ordered the exact same product as hundreds of others, or the website lied. I’m thinking it was a combination of the two. I was sent an email the next day saying that the household toilet paper and several other things had shipped.

However, the most needed things, the personal things had not.

Damn and double damn. I’d gotten down to the last 2 packages of product. Something I was cursing myself for.

The item that I thought would arrive last, the wheelchair, arrived first. (Their website told me that it would take several business days to ship.) Yay! This is the most comfortable chair in the house. Woot woot.

The groceries were gathered, bagged, and loaded into my car by others. The seeds and misc should arrive today and tomorrow… And there was no further updates from the Walmart with the most important necessities.

Sighs.

This morning, I was getting worried. So I delved into the app on my tablet. Heck even Verizon ships in a timely manner.

The app gave me zip. So, I went to the website. Lo and behold, the items should arrive today.

This reminds me of a story out of the Big Book. About expectations. It also reminds me of a youtuber who is wheelchair bound like me.

They both talk about happiness equals reality over expectations. I’d forgotten that in recent days. I let my impatience get the worst of me. I let my expectations of hundreds of people who arranged to get my stuff to me overcome the reality.

People, and companies make mistakes. It’s not their fault I have this condition. It’s not their fault that I only had so much backstock in the house for emergencies. And it’s not their fault that I needed the products sooner than I expected.

So, I need to tend to my knitting, and just wait. It will be okay in the end.

Footnote:

I’ve got my daughter’s shawl to the point of the crochet. It should be done in hours. I just need to get offline and back to reality to do it. Sighs. I’m such a selfish cow.

Hugs not drugs, -L

January is done and dusted. Living in Minnesota, we can have deadly below zero windchills combined with blizzards, black ice, and other exciting goodies.

2020 brought with it a bit of a change. Day after mind numbing day of fog and frost. Jack Frost went on one hell of a bender this year, and holy wow, I’m glad January is over.

So, to fight the winter blah, I’ve been playing with colors. Accent colors, to be honest. My daughter’s shawl is coming along nicely. It’s shades of blue and purple. I’ve switched from feather and fan knit, to crochet, and it will be done with just a few hours of work.

Clothing wise, thrift stores like goodwill and the Bible Mission are my go to. They pander to a wide variety of humanity, and I’m getting the blessing of many colors as a result. I’m able to wheel in, find shawls of many many colors, and leave with two bags stuffed full for less than I’d spend out for a meal with friends.

So, while the washing machine is running, washing my latest prizes, I’m sitting here writing to you.

In recovery, fighting the winter blah is a bit harder. This is where more than meetings comes into play. Via social media, and recovery websites, I’ve found many events I can take part in. In the month of February alone, I could attend a sledding party, a dance, a potluck and an area meeting if I so choose.

Okay, the area meeting, I’m supposed to actually attend.

I’ve dedicated my life to finding the emotional and spiritual color where and when I can. A good friend of mine from Northern Minnesota and I write letters back and forth to each other about once a week. We used to go to treatment centers together to speak. It was mischief and mayhem the trip there, the time there, and the trip home.

In meetings, I was the one who cackled instead of laughed. I chose to be ornery and mischeivous instead of boring and serious, and I loved to live life the best I could.

Today, as a writer, secretary, and once a week meeting goer, I live as best I can to fight the blah from the wheelchair. There are more meetings I can’t attend face to face, but that I can support from the keyboard. I still am ornery and cantankerous. I still find and make mischief the best I can.

In working the steps, that is the utmost of mischief and mayhem in my eyes. It’s saying F*** You to the disease of addiction. It is grand large malicious defiance to the slavery of alcohol and other drugs.

Just my opinion. Hugs, I better get back to work. The area has a request of me. Take care,

-L