Month: May 2019

Campy background music by David Lee Roth is playing in the background. Duke is laying on a van seat we have set up in the garage for him. He’s a good boy….

Except this morning. I had to go and run two errands quick. He insisted on going along. I’m glad it was still cool outside, so he could sit shotgun. First, we stopped at the post office. He insisted on sitting in my seat to watch while I checked the Area’s mailbox.

Then we were too early for the pharmacy, hubs meds weren’t ready quite yet. We drove around a little. The LYS wasn’t open yet. Now this LYS is expensive, and the only non mega-store that sells yarn that I know of in town. I shook my head, and left.

We snuck over to the Spanish bakery in town. He was a very good and patient boy, while I went in, bought two special treats for him and I to share, and some bread pudding and a sweet roll for Hubsy. Hubsy doesn’t know that Duke and I shared to really good, sweet treats.

Finally to the pharmacy drive thru. We waited a second while the cashier worked with another customer. Then the minute she opened the window for us, his best smile came out. He put on all the charm. She fell madly, passionately in love with the boy.

I knew better.

He’d just racked up another notch on his leash. The bugger. She asked if he was a good boy. I said, it depends on how many sweet treats from the bakery he cons out of me in the morning. The conversation between her and Duke, well, my ears were burning. He just ate up the attention.

We finished out transaction, and Duke and I left. I couldn’t help but chuckle about the latest in a long line of broken hearts he left behind him.

Silly boy.

On the recovery front, am taking a day off from stress. I caught a nap for a bit, and my legs are still killing me. I’m just gonna stay home from the meeting tonight.

I have knitting beside me, and I’m starting some foot ovens by Stephanie Pearl McPhee. They are a quick knit, and I can get a pair done in a day or so. Especially with my legs swelling like balloons, I need to up my sock stash.

That’s all for now.

-L

This is the shawl in progress, I’m using scraps of yarn. The two coffee cups, I’m using as yarn bowls. I discovered the yarn bowl goodness the other day. I’d been using one of the cups as a flower pot. Yet, I’d bought them as coffee cups.

When I went to dump the cup and pitch the flowers, I had to clean the cup up quick. Lately, I’ve been on a knitting jag, and I stuck a yarn cake in the cup. A quick slip of the end through the handle, and magic.

I’ve never had a proper yarn bowl. Now, I don’t think I ever will do. I’m in love. Knitting is so much easier now. Sighs.

On the recovery front, I got some journaling done. I also met with my mischievous sponsor. It was a good day over all. The few snags, were just that, snags. I got the t-shirt logos sent in. I have the election dates set for the officers, I have the lists of treatment centers that are semi-local. I have the numbers of most of the local jails.

I’ve been busy. I also slipped away to the store for a few things as well.

There was no stash enhancement. I dodged a bullet there, I think. I did go down the sewing/crafting aisles though. It took over ten minutes to decide on the variety of darning needles that I need. Sighs, now I don’t know if I can complain when my beloved Snuggie goes to the hardware store and spends over an hour looking at the difference between a beige thingy and a white thingy.

I also purchased two more of those exceed journals from Walmart. It seems that I go through hard bound journals at a rapid pace. Sighs. Between my volunteer work, my step work, and organizing, I’m surprised that I don’t go through more of them.

Duke has been very good today. He definitely loves it here in town. Tomorrow, we hope to get out to the dog park. There, he can run, sniff, play and just be. I can get some good knitting time in.

I have fallen in love with something new by the way. I am listening to audiobooks again. It’s not just sitting and knitting with an audiobook, it’s shopping and listening. I can drive and listen, I can work on service work and listen. I can do almost anything and listen.

Audiobooks and I are now best buddies. Now, if you are thinking that I’m cheating on the podcasts that I dearly love, I am. I still listen, but I’ve become more discerning with my podcasts. Some of the podcasts, well, when I have to listen to over 5 minutes of commercials for a 20 minute podcast. Sighs, it just isn’t worth it.

Another pet peeve for podcasts, is 20 to 40 minutes of listener mail. Seriously? Cut out the 5 minutes of advertising, the 40 minutes of listener mail, that patreon supporters named, and the how was your week between the hosts… I usually get about 15 minutes of listenable content.

I’ve begun a vengeful resentment against commercials and BS.

So, audiobooks, it is.

That’s about it for now. I’m pretty sure I’ll be bugging you again soon.

Thank You for your time.

-L

Hello all,

Been busy conspiring and corrupting others today. I have two designs for Recovery t-shirts almost finished, and I have more work for tomorrow. A couple of letters were written for a Service Body, and several officers were contacted.

I’m also working in the background on step one again. Over the fall, I bought a couple of Joe and Charlie books for AA. I’m going through them, and combining them with my traditional step work. Since I’m a sick freak, I probably will run through the NA steps again as well.

My feet have been swelling pretty bad. I can barely walk again. The pain levels have been through the roof, and I look like one of those Russian nesting dolls. Sighs. I am okay, just frustrated. I’ve been following my MD’s opinions, and looking forward to having smaller feet again.

Duke and I had a rough day. Duke wanted to go out and run and play. With my pain levels, it just didn’t work out so well. Sighs. I don’t have a lawn chair back there to sit and knit while he plays.

I maybe should get me one of those. Maybe someday.

In other news, I got the yarn swift and ball winder out again. I re-organized my knitting bag, and I made several yarn cakes. I’m excited about knitting again. The knitting is going slow, but one strange side effect of knitting so much. I’m typing quite a bit faster again.

Who knew?

I suppose I had better get back to work. I want to get a few more rows done on this shawl. I want to change it from a triangle shawl to a rectangle shawl. No pattern, per my usual, just lunatic me knitting away frantically and like a maniac.

That’s all for now.

-L

Morning all, Duke and I are settled into the office. I’m relaxed with a decaf iced coffee this morning. Decaf? Okay heartburn.

So you know. Last night I did a little Malicious Defiance. I have made a break with some of the unhealthy ideas and people in my world. I am definitely okay with that. My trigger was a message and a phone call.

When my phone rang, my heart sank into the floor. I was in pain, real and emotional. I didn’t take the call, and I decided enough was enough. Through family obligation, I had been working too hard and too long for people that took advantage of me. Well, in April, on the 1st, that obligation ended itself.

The answer, now is no. The Big Book says that we don’t crawl before anyone. I’m taking that to heart. I no longer will crawl back for anything anymore. I don’t need approval, and I certainly don’t need to spend hundreds of hours doing computer work and other things for people who just don’t get it.

The other change I made last night, was that I blocked a few people on social media and on my phone. I don’t need flying monkeys telling me to make amends to people who just want to use me. I don’t need them contacting me for things that I don”t have any business dealing with. I don’t have to be a house elf anymore.

On the knitting front, I’m doing a leftovers shawl. It’s bits and bobs of leftover yarn. There are stripes, and lines here and there. It’s just a standard triangle shawl. It’s also a shawl that I can knit in meetings. I use my swift and winder to make yarn cakes that are small enough to fit in my shoulder bag. I love knitting in meetings. I don’t need to use a fidget spinner there.

Knitting is the ultimate fidget spinner.

I suppose I better get rolling here. I have to work on some homework before a sponsee gets here. It’s okay to be me today. I’m happy, comfortable, and content.

Hugs not drugs,

-L

Back to Worthington. Dad kicked me out April 1st. He is a hoarder, and I was arranging cleanup. He treasured garbage more than me. So, my life of a gypsy is over. Wandering back and forth is done.

The next time hubs and I have an argument, I will just go to the garage, my she-cave, and shut the door. That’s how we are settling our differences. Hubs lives in the house full time. I am in the garage, with my computer gear, books, yarn and the like most of the time. I like it in here. I’ve made it my home away from everyone else’s home.

How’s recovery working lately?

Oy…. Last night I was forbidden to knit during a meeting. I’m tired. It was hell sitting in a meeting without notebook, journal, or anything. Sighs. Kinda makes retirement from meetings looking good. What would I say to a sponsee? I’d tell them to buck up buttercup and move on. So, recovery is my top priority still. What did I do last night? I maliciously complied. Life goes on.

So, what am I doing to stay clean and or sober today? I’ve been in touch with members for most of the morning. I’ve been focusing on distractions. I’ve been listening to the rain. I’ve been replying to messages, and thinking about helping the alkie or addict who still suffers.

Why am I so jittery today? There’s a mild anxiety in the background. I’ve got to clean the office today, and with the rain, it’s making it quite interesting. With the hubs asleep in the old office, I can’t go in and make noise moving furniture and books to the garage. It’s a give and take.

He let me sleep last night. With the crummy weather, I have been in much more pain than usual. I’ve had an IBS FLARE since late April. It’s slowly turning into a Fibro flare. Sighs. So, the best thing I do when I’m in this much pain is distract and wait it out. I was in so much pain last night, that I screamed in my sleep a couple of times. Taking pills just doesn’t work.

So, that’s the update. Hope all is well with you. -L