Pain day but for a good reason


Good Morning. Hope you are well. The fellas who I am responsible for are doing their things. I’m about ready to crawl back into bed.

However, this morning, I am proud of the work I did yesterday. Yesterday hurt bad. I finally managed about 7 hours of sleep in total. It was pretty broken up though. The good news, is that after one of those naps I did a thing.

My Beloved was hurting too, and asked me if I could make us a pizza. I don’t always keep frozen pizza in the house, yet we still had the one I picked up in late November. I cut up some pepper, onion, mushrooms and added a little of each to the pie. I added a wee bit of cheese to protect the mushrooms and whacked it in the oven.

When I add to a pre-packaged product, I watch the cooking times. In the case of pizza, I make it at the recommended cooking time/temp. Then once the recommended time passes, I shut the oven off and let it cook maybe 10-15 minutes longer. This gives the extra ingredients time to cook through and me time to prep a salad.

After we ate, I realized that I better get the kitchen cleaned up. I got it done! My beloved did help a bit. He took the laundry out of the washer and dried it while I set things up.

We both took many breaks, and while we ate at 7pm, by 2 am the work was done!! The dishes were in the cupboards, and the clothes were folded and put away. I even took a quick washup myself.

Why do I crow about this? On a normal pain day, I can’t do a damned thing. Yesterday was a normal pain day. However, thanks to just taking lots of breaks, I was able to do that little bit of work. Note: My beloved only helped with the washer to dryer swap on the laundry.

This morning, I woke up to a clean kitchen. That felt good. I’m asking Santa to give me a dish drying rack this year, one that works better than what I am using right now. Think he would spring for a pink or purple one?

On that note, hugs and huggage my friends. Take care please. May your marshmallows be squishy and soft for your cocoa. -L

It started with tobacco.


Morning all, I’m curled up at the desk, and am swallowing tea like its a gift from the gods. I’ve had a 2 hour nap, and am kind of fuzzy headed. There is a history podcast from the Viking period in my ears.

In the wee hours of the morning, my beloved asked me to run to one of the local gas stations for some tobacco. I agreed, and headed to the store. I grabbed a coffee (tactical error) and made his tobacco order. I also grabbed one of my own bags of tobacco and headed out. The coffee was foul. I have spent too many hours watching a certain British Barista. James Hoffman has screwed me over.

I then made the mistake of checking my watch. There was a text from my beloved mentioning donuts… I barely scanned it, and headed to the car. Okay, I will head to the other place which has better donuts. I arrive, and I mistook his message to mean he wanted powdered donuts.

Crap.

I grabbed the wrong donuts. I also grabbed the rest of his tobacco order, another bag of mine, paid and headed home. It wasn’t until I hit the restroom at home, that he informed me of the error of my ways.

FFS. Snarling at each other through the closed bathroom door was fun, but I was starting to really throb from my adventures so far.

He then sent me a message asking me to pick up some pizzas, milk and the right donuts. Okay, I took a break, and headed out. However, before I made it to the door, he wanted cans of chili for the pizza. He meant chili the stuff you eat in a bowl with cheese and saltines… not chili peppers and not chili sauce.

Crap. The convenience store I was going to didn’t have canned chili. I said that I would see what I could do. I knew what was coming, and I knew that by the time I was done, I’d be in a crap ton of pain. My XP levels were already low, and this would put me in the red.

I grabbed some breakfast at a drive through first. I got enough for both of us, but knew that by the time I got home his breakfast would be cold. He’d already had 2 hissy fits this morning, the sun was up, and it was too peoply out there. I was feeling petty.

No, I did not get him a hashbrown. I was feeling really petty.

I ate in the parking lot of the big blue mega company. To get his list, I would put about 1750 “steps” on the watch while in the wheel chair. I got the chair out, parked my blue gingham covered butt in it, and locked the Beastie.

Rolling into the store, I knew, I knew that I would regret this. First stop, the deli and the bakery. I sat in my chair and glared at the coleslaw in the cooler. It was way too tall for me to grab. I sighed and went to the bakery.

The donuts were hiding, but I found them at last. He wanted the glazed ones with frosting and filling. He wanted fruit filling. They didn’t have any of those left. Crap. I grabbed the last creme filled donuts in the store, whacked them in the cart, and headed for the pizza.

Frozen food held way too many temptations. They have the almighty eggrolls, the corndogs, and all sorts of delicious will-put-me-in-an-early-grave foods. Then again, my breakfast was trying to do that already. Knowing that his breakfast was cooling in the passenger seat. I grabbed 3 pizzas, and rolled on.

It took awhile to find the damned chili. I grabbed bottom of the barrel, cheap arse generic chili in the can. It’s the crap he likes. I also grabbed some generic Velveeta, and headed to the milk aisle. I yanked his milk into the cart, but I was craving hotdogs. So, I headed up the processed meat lane, found some of those… and my wheelchair yeeted me and my cart into the back to school section.

Underneath my bed at home was a significant pens, notebooks, and book stash. My Husband’s breakfast was getting cold. I reviewed the shelves with enthusiasm. I didn’t get any, but I looked. I also went through the artsy fartsy happy crappy aisles. I even went through the yarn section.

Finally, I made it to checkout, the sweet cashier lady helped me reload the cart. I paid and left. I spent less than 35 dollars. When I headed home, the cute little neighborhood kidlings were all lined up for the bus. Eek, I’m not ready for the babies to have grown so much this year. I smiled, waved, and headed to the house.

My beloved, for the first time in a long time, opened the big garage door for me. At this point, I couldn’t grab the back hatch of the car to close it. My arms wouldn’t make the movement. I hauled the groceries in, asking him to shut the car.

I gave him his breakfast, headed to the necessary, and my arms just throbbed.

Now, I was feeling petty. I did let his breakfast get cooler. I also took my time. I was wheeling myself through the store, I took as many breaks as I could. Loading the cart was not fun. I survived the slolum of people and aisles.

Once I left the necessary, I put the pizzas away. I grabbed my headphones, and I crawled into bed with a podcast.

I know he came in to offer me something. But I couldn’t reply. My body said, UM no. After a couple of hours, I woke up. My health or xp bar, it’s still really low. Yet, I’m proud of myself. I did something I didn’t think my body was able to do.

Meanwhile, I think it’s time to head back to bed. There are more podcasts to lull me to sleep. I will bug you again tomorrow. Gentle squishy hugs my friends. Take care please. -L

Midol for the win Alex


Morning all, Young Master Duke and I are relaxing, and I’m taking a break. I have a cuppa, and my neck has finally popped. Man, that helps.

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but I have recently switched to Midol. Holy crap. I’ve been able to sleep. Yes, this is a generic version, but Holy Crap. Sleeping is the bomb my friends.

Having Chronic Pain for decades has been well, a beast of a different flavor. It’s a little gamey, really stringy, and only best served in a stew, if you know what I mean.

I saw a tiktok video that pointed out that someone got quite a bit of relief for a migraine from Midol. And boom, I added it to the cart for the next grocery order immediately.

Sleep, normally, does not involve rest. It’s normally involving waking up in absolute pain because I rolled over wrong. Normally, I can catch an hour up to 6. I’m making up for lost time.

I have hopes of being able to shower daily again soon. That is huge.

I also know the reality that this is a temporary fix. Just like the hemp oil was. I become immune to pain meds quick. I’ve been rationing the doses, to try to stave off the immunity clause. Yet, I want to be able to dance again. I want to be able to take a shower, dress, and go for a walk.

I want a day where I don’t scream if someone touches me.

Is that too much to ask? Hugs, my friends. You are a treasure and a blessing. -L

Who is in charge?


Morning all, have been on a roll lately, and chatted with an old buddy of mine. He’s a good kid, does damned fine work keeping out of the wheelchair. He’s also a friend of Bill W.

He reminded me about who is in charge of our decisions. I feel convicted here. I do my best, but there are times, that my best just isn’t good enough.

Without justifying, I took the 3rd step. However, I have been lagging on maintaining that relationship. Yelling “Fuck” at the top of my voice when someone touches me wrong does that to a person.

Yet, I’m not in charge, and haven’t been. Damn. This kicks me in the tail, sideways. Damn it.

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled mayhem. -L

Nap time snuggles


Hello all, hope you are well. Young Master Duke reminded me to sit and write for a few. So, here we are.

I’m the napping queen, and very few days go by without a nice one. I know, you are jealous. Chuckle. It’s sometimes about the only way to recharge my batteries. Today is unusually cool for August. We could shut the a/c off and open all of the windows. However, that would drive my beloved husband out of his mind.

This is our option on cooler days when the a/c is just not necessary.

Back to the naps. Earlier, I just couldn’t get warm to save my tail. I knew that once the shivering started, my pain levels would go through the roof, so I settled down for a nap with Duke and Sherbert. At first Duke laid by my legs, but I still couldn’t get warm. He then came up into my arms, and was willing to be the inside spoon. His body heat was enough to help me reset my own body temperature. He only moved once I needed to turn over.

Needless to say, Young Master Duke is my hero. His other trick is to lay over my lower back when I’m turned to the other side. He adds just enough pressure to help me relax, but also just enough warmth to comfort me.

Duke is truly the master of naps.

Hope you have a lovely day. Duke and I are going to relax for awhile more outside. Take care. -L