Check in Fibro sucks

The worst fibro flare I’ve had in years. It’s been hard to focus, and hard to keep a civil tongue in my head.

Meanwhile, have been trying to stitch. I couldn’t keep track of the pattern, and I need to frog the row I just finished. Sighs.

Am also working on Dad’s Father’s day gift. It’s the family birthdays and anniversaries in a book. I can work on it while I sit in the recliner.

Other than that, I need to head back to bed for a bit. Hugs, -L


Fixing it on the next row

Current project is a shawl, and it is lovely. It’s my first project from a chart, and my first major lace project. I’m not a good knitter, I am a knitter.

So I’m chugging along on the project last night. Lots of yarn overs, lots of left leaning decreases, lots of right leaning decreases, pretty much enjoying the process. I haven’t invested heavily into swear words quite yet. When I noticed.

Crap, I’ve screwed up. One segment is too fat, another too thin. Crap. I also noticed that the decreases on the row I am working are going to be off because I read them wrong. Crap crap crap.

So, I did what I could. On the knit the knits, purl the purls row, I fixed the wrong leaning decreases, and slipped one over the offending stitch in the fat segments. I also made one in the thin segments. Screw it. If someone wants perfetion in a shawl, then they can order it from a retailer.

Hugs, -L

Megrims and regrets

Megrims, those memories that just pop up out of the middle of nowhere. I could be triggered by a scent, an idea, or nothing at all. The problem with megrims, is that they are evil rat bastards that just want to take a body down. They are arse hats, to say the least.

Addict brain loves the megrims. Addict brain, that part of the mind that wants me dead in a ditch somewhere, has my worse interests at heart, and is out to get me, pulls those megrims out of nowhere. I could be sitting playing a game of solitaire on my tablet, and wham. I’m slapped in the face with one of those things.

Megrims, and their ugly sister regret, really have been chasing me around the playground lately. There’s nothing I can do about them, but to pray, and to journal the bejesus out of the situation.

Writing out the problem takes all the heat out from under the pressure cooker in my head, and runs cold water over the lid. I may cry during these episodes, and I often do so. I may even say words that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. However, by getting it out in black and white. That kettle isn’t going to blow into active holy crap mode.

So, tonight, I’m going to take a short nap. While my husband is in the clinic today, I’m going to sit down with my journal and write out everything that pops into my head. It’s self-defense. It’s a mental anti-toxin. It will help.

Hugs, -L

Plan plans but don’t…

I’m at the desk, and I can’t feel my legs. No, I’m not going to the ER. I’m going to move as much as I can, to get the circulation back into my limbs.

I had plans for tonight. Earlier in the week, I was talking to a friend, and we made plans to go to a town 45 minutes away to a meeting for tonight. I was excited.

Yesterday I spent the day in the tent outside. I knit, watched youtube, and relaxed the whole day. It was fun and a good thing. Duke and I spent quality time outside. Last night, I paid the price for my stupidity.

I have severe allergies, and when I went to lay down, I couldn’t stop coughing. So, I spent the night in the recliner. I woke at around 6 with a diabetic reaction. I know, not good in an of itself. I ate, and went back to the recliner to rest.

This afternoon, I woke again, and by this time, I couldn’t feel my legs. Damn it. This was not a happy thing. I now need to focus when I maneuver, and making coffee was interesting.

I had to cancel my trip. It’s okay. However, I also now have time to fill my hours creatively. I will be stretching, and relaxing. Pain levels are ironically minimal, but then again I slept in the sitting position with my legs stretched out.

Note: If the feeling doesn’t come back to my legs, I will seek medical help. It just doesn’t feel necessary at this time.

2nd Note: Since the pandemic, I have been seeing doctors less and less. New cases are still coming up in my county. That means that there are people out there who have the virus who have been spreading it.

I have no desire to contract a virus for a doctor’s appointment. My plans? Were to go to a fully masked meeting with social distancing.