As a person with chronic and constant pain, it’s normal. I often used to think that if a ‘normal’ person went through this 24/7 they couldn’t handle it.
However, my ideas on that have changed. I’m not the only person in life with chronic pain, I’m one of many. Like all of the others I tried everything I could over the years.
However, my journey abruptly changed over 20 years ago. I am an addict, and I found recovery. Today, my chronic pain journey includes Dr visits that go something like this.
“I can’t take that.” -me
“It will help your pain.” -Dr
“I can’t drive with it, can I?” -me
“No….” -Dr
“I can’t take it, it will activate active addiction.” -me
Or we get the scenario where the Dr finds a med that will “Work for sure, and it won’t activate my addiction.” I have a very high tolerance level for meds. Usually stops working in a week or two.
This weekend, I’m missing a recovery campout. I don’t mind, to be honest. I don’t want to spend days in bed afterwards just to get back my strength.
I’m getting constant photos and videos from the campout with “Wish you were heres.” Yep. They just want to kill me, sighs.
The most persistent, I did remind that I snore like a buzz saw, and that they would want to draw and quarter me before morning. She kept persisting.
I do love my pack, my friends, my homegroup. However, I just can’t anymore. No matter how many times I try to explain, they still don’t get it.
Oh well. Hugs.
AnonymousKnitter 