We are on our way

Morning all, hope you are well. When this posts, I will be sitting in the surgical tower parking lot with snot running down my nose. My belovedwith be making his way upstairs, and I will be inventing not just new swear words, but new methods of swearing.

It’s one of those things. Let’s go back in time a little. One Sunday, my beloved came up with 30 new crisis about surgery day. It’s supposed to be hot. It’s supposed to be this. This is happening, that is happening. You need to do this, and you must do that.


My personal micromanager got all kinds of bullshit into his thick skull about what’s going to happen while he is under the knife. Not to him, mind you, but to Young Master Duke and I.

After I returned from getting the groceries on Sunday, he flipped his gourd. Well, I flipped mine too. It was obvious at that point that nothing I was going to be doing over the next 4 days was going to be proper in any way, shape or form. FFS.

I didn’t flip the table over, but I did beller right back at him.

Combo plate service here: Mansplaining, with OCD, and the fact that I would be completely unsupervised in the town I was born in. I know humans who live in that specific community. Sheet, I’m related to them. And that’s the crux of the problem.

He was worried I’d run into some of my more potent family. I wasn’t. I know what parts of town to avoid. I know by knowing them where to not hang out. Heck, I didn’t even really have plans to be within 15 miles of most of them.

So, my Mister was worried about me. I get it. I really do. How to reassure a man who worries about everything that I would be okay? I am going with plan A actually. What plan A is, I will write about in a future post. I will be just fine.

I suppose I better send this off, and get busy. I have a vehicle to clean out and um supplies to load into the beastie. Hugs my friends. Oh, and Walmart has kids fishing kits if you are interested. I just need to find a river and wet a line. I have my license. Take care my friends. I will update you tomorrow on how he did. Hugs, -L


Take five

Morning all, I’ve been struggling to get this post written for almost an hour now. I’d re-downloaded the WordPress app to my tablet. And there is one hell of a lag between typing and the words showing up on the screen. Now, I’m not typing at a dramatic rate. I’m a simple person, I’m not that fast. However, when half a cigarette goes by… There is a damned problem.

I think that the app was calling home to Mama, and the lag was it cycling back and forth between WordPress the company, and the app. This just sucks big time.

It’s a pain day, by the way. It’s actually 2 AM as I write this. I’m in too much pain to sleep and the ibuprofen is a joke this morning. It’s just not working.

So, here we are. I am feeling grouchy, and I’m not getting over it. I’ve been sitting at the desk trying to work, and I just can’t right now. Oh, by the way… I’m using the same keyboard on my laptop that I was using on the tablet. I just paired the Bluetooth to the laptop. So, it isn’t the keyboard lag time. Like I said, I don’t type that fast.

Okay, now that the whining is done. It’s a pain day for my Husband as well. He’s awake too. I have the lights dimmed, and I am listening to a history special on my headset. This keyboard was chosen because the keys don’t clack. He’s just in constant pain. He has degenerative disc disease amongst other goodies. So, because there is rain in the forecast, we are both sheet out of luck.

Oh this pain versus weather thingy… means that I can’t in reality move anywhere that the climate produces quite a bit of rain per year. I’d be screwed. Sighs.

Very well then. In other news, I did a couple of naughty purchases. First things first. Yes, I bought 2 months worth of diabetic testing supplies. I haven’t done that in years and years. I also ordered the record books to keep track of weird things like meals, blood sugars, liquid intake and even my weight. They should be here by Monday or Tuesday.

I also purchased a Wahl hair clippers. I finished the hair cut I started last week. I’m quite bald now, and I’m enjoying the fresh start. I just couldn’t keep up with my hair anymore, and to be honest, it felt good. I can’t with ease, raise my arms above my head. I still do the exercises, but damn it freaking hurts to do that. Repeated brushing of hair, or other grooming, just fucking hurts like the fires of hell are crawling up and down my upper arms.

Yet the medical professionals in all their wisdum can find nothing wrong. I’d love to tell them where to shove it, but since my body is a Pinto, and I’m not talking about the horse… nothing can be done. If I was a rich woman, with money to throw at it, they would probably look. To be honest, since I am a Medicare patient, their give a damn is busted.

Other mischief and mayhem I have been doing… I finished the lilac dress. It has flowy sleeves. I’m tickled by the results. I cut another, and am waiting for the pain to ease up to start the stitching. I want to set up the sewing machine outside with my stitching basket, but it needs to wait until the rains move on. I’ve noticed that our spring is about a month behind in the spring, and a month ahead in the fall for crummy weather. It is what it is.

I’m sorry that I’m not as cheerful as I would love to be. This fibro flare has been a raging beech. I’m hoping that soon enough it passes. Huge hugs my friends. Take care. -L


Pre-coffee, so this isn’t going to be something miraculouse or dramatic. 80’s music, sorry Nissyn, is keeping me entertained, and behaving.

Decided to start with Wham’s Wake me up before you Go-Go. It’s up beat. It devolved from there. I actually danced at the sink this morning for a second. Maybe, that’s why I am starting the morning without the Mannah of Life. Not sure. I will survive.

My Shuggie Lump let Duke out, and Mr Fuzzy Butt has drug all of the mud in. He gets a CBD oil dose in the morning after I get up. I keep it at the desk. I use the little Alpo Snap Treats and put a drop of oil on them. I swear, he is so much happier now. I don’t blame him.

He’s an older dog, and sometimes just doesn’t eat because he hurts. I understand.

Yesterday, I got some sticker shock, and said, “No.” Most of my Dr’s understand about the whole Medicare is an evil rat bugger thing. I’m scheduled for a Colonoscopy coming up. The Dr wants me to take one med for 24 doses that costs 185 dollars after my insurance pays part of it.

Let’s do the Math. My Husband and I take home barely enough to cover household expenses and groceries. We don’t go out. We don’t have a brand new car. We have the basic streaming services, and our internet is from our cellular provider. We don’t have cable. We don’t have memberships anywhere. 185 is quite a chunk for 24 doses.

I’d even asked if taking an OTC version was okay, and was told… “No, he wants you to take this version.”

When I received the text notification that the e-script was ready, I had a fit. I didn’t outwardly act like I was having a fit. I didn’t go all Karen on the situation. What I did do was wait until I had calmed the heck down. Then I called the Pharmacy and asked some questions. Thankfully my favorite tech answered. (I really respect brains, she uses them.)

I asked a considered WTH… We were chuckling, because I presented light and with humor. I mentioned that um, from the wheelchair with funky dyed hair, robbing a bank would be a bit difficult. I asked if whe could reshelf that prodcut. She was cool with it, and we moved on with our day.

I wrote an email to the Dr’s office in Question, and said. “No dawg, not dropping 1/5th of my personal disability check on a med. Let’s try again.”

For some reason, I like to eat. Or have lights and heat. I dunno. And I’m not giving up Duke’s Alpo treats for a med. I am not a savage!

Until the world is fixed, and I have no clue when that will be, that’s way above my pay grade, I’ll stick with my tiny keyboard and simple life. Hope all is well with you. God Bless You.

The statin and the wheelchair

Morning all. We have new developments.

My Dr’s and I have been consulting, and being naughty, I guess. Okay, those awesome ladies aren’t naughty as often as I am, I think. I switched back to my old Primary Care NP.

We talked. Especially since I can no longer take tylenol in any form. She agreed to take my old stating, and switch it. We talked about which otc meds are appropriate for my pain. We also talke about weight loss options.

I now have medical goals. Okay, sheet, that’s new. Haven’t had those in about a decade. Of course, haven’t had a uterus in almost exactly a decade either, so it balances out.

My new goal, to get the fuck out of the wheelchair. I haven’t had to take anything for pain in a couple of days. I have been in pain, yes, but it is down to a 4. Holy Crap!

I’d happy dance, but I’m not there yet. Holy Crap!!!!!!!!!! Woot woot! To have a couple of days with less pain, is a gift from God. It’s a treasure. It’s everything.

Please be good to yourselves. Hugs, -L

How do you…

Yesterday was my Husband’s Birthday. And a few days back, I asked him if he wanted pizza or take out for his Birthday. He didn’t know.

It’s rough bringing up celebrating milestones for a man who has a potential death sentence hanging above him. I mean, what do you do? What do you say? How do you act?

It’s as if half the time we live like we are on death row. We are isolated, never seeing anyone except on a screen, and our home is a prison of sorts. We can’t leave, we can’t do anything of value. Our warden is his heart. His heart dictates what we do, what we say, and we tap dance barefoot on pins and needles.

Yet there are sweet moments as well. He lets me snuggle sometimes, and we write to each other. Letting each other know what’s going on. Maybe thos messages will be the only ones I have left in a few weeks. We just don’t know.

Then there are the days when everything ‘seems’ normal. We do our best just to get through the day. He sits at his table, and watches a video, and I sit at my desk, knitting.

He asked me to make him some nana bread again. He knows how nauseating those things make me, but he is worth it. I might have to put a mask on with some peppermint oil sprinkled on it to get through it, but it’s worth it, just to help him find one small comfort during the day.

Hugs all, hope your day is a good one. May God be with you. -L