I did something.

Morning all, hope you are well. Am a bit under stress today, and am emotionally compromised. It sucks, in a way. There’s nothing I can do to fix this, and there is nothing I can do to help.

So, I wait. I’m praying, and terrified. I’m also freaking out inside. There’s nothing I can do, right?

Over 20 years of program tells me to get my ass to a meeting. It also tell me to work the program twice as hard as I have done before. To get busy, and to work that spiritual angle. Yada yada. I don’t want to. I want to curl up in a corner and cry.

Nothing I can do. I know. So, I did something weird.

I hate bananas. They are nauseating, mushy with a really gross aftertaste. I hate what’s going on in my life. It’s hard, scary, and I am powerless. Instead of sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I went to the kitchen, peeled and sliced 2 bananas, grabbed a glass of milk, and sat in the office eating bananas.

Why? Why would I do something that my stomach is trying to reject? Because I’m powerless right now. I know I can eat a banana one bite at a time. It’s how I’m going to get through this situation, one minute, one second, one bite at a time.

Please excuse me, the bananas are trying to escape my stomach. Take care. -L

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