Cold fall day

Morning all, Young Master Duke is laying on the dining room floor. I’m in the kitchen, with a hot cuppa Earl Grey. My beloved is in bed, sleeping the day away.

I do have to head out in a couple of hours. We have some more tea on the grocery order, as well as milk, bread and other needful things. My beloved will be upset at the amount of tea on the order. That’s his problem.

I’ve got chores to do. The garbage needs to go to the curb, and the kitchen needs wiping down. He doesn’t do anything anymore but smoke and drink tea. Well, he also growls and whines more than Duke does. He is in pain.

His biggest complaint is everything. Nothing is good enough, and nothing can fix it. In the meantime, I do the best I can. When I can do nothing else, I sit and stitch and wait. I imagine that folks throughout time have done the same.

When someone we love has nothing good to say, and refuses to do anything. We can’t change what is going on. So, we do what is in front of us to do. We do the best we can with what we have.

I don’t know. I don’t know what else to say. He’s too paranoid to seek therapy. He’s too paranoid to reach out for help. I know my mental problems are enough to give a person pause. It’s hard though. He has no purpose. Nothing drives him.

It’s a part of living. Yet, I think back 30 years. There was a person or two in the nursing home I worked in. They had the same look in their eyes that my beloved has most of the time now. They would sit, and stare. Just staring, with no inflection, no facial expression, not one change for months at a time.

I’m terrified of this prospect for him. I really am.

Please take care my friends. -L