Knots


Morning all, hope you are well. There are times when I need to take a short break. It’s part of the reason I pre-write quite a bit of this blog. That way, if something happens to me, or I get sick, I can have the time to heal before I try to write again.

The same thing applies to stitchery. Yesterday’s post, which was mostly my work in pictures showed some of my wip’s, some of the stash aquisition stuff, and other things. It was a short break from writing, but also a short break from the work itself. I have a few pictures I need to take yet, but it’s a depiction of what’s going on. In stitchery though, once in awhile, I come up with a knot from the bowels of hell itself.

I was happily stitching away, and just switched floss so I could do another bit of the piece. I started the first freaking stitch and blamo. A knot of epic proportions in my mind took a relaxing moment and turned it into pure nastiness. Therefore, I put it all away for a few. That’s the point of the toolbox. I can have my project, have everything needed for the project, yet put that sheet away when I need to do so.

There are times I get sick and tired of the work. I need a break. It goes directly into the project bag, until I am ready to pick it up again. You see a trend here. However, then comes the time I have to face the knots. I have to swallow the frog. If I want a finished project, I have to pick it up yet again, get past the difficult portion and move on. I do this in real life. It’s a way to apply the steps to my day to day work.

With people, it is harder, infinitely harder. I find knots in a situation, and I can’t get past them. I don’t know how to deal with it or what to do. Recovery doesn’t really teach how to deal with people, only how to make amends after I have caused problems. Over the years, I’ve turned to others for help, but they don’t have the answers either.

The problem I run into, is that I don’t understand half the time that I am running into a knotty situation with people until I am overwhelmed, or ready to cry. Then, of course, I punish myself for causing the problem, or even being there. Too often, that tendency of mine has been taken advantage of, and then the folks involved turn me into a personal tool. Last I saw in the mirror, I didn’t look like a whackus bonkus, and I certainly didn’t look like a pipe wrench. Finding a happy medium between acceptable boundaries, and being a person among people is really hard. Humans are messy, and I am just confused most of the time.

So, just for now, I will stick with dogs. They aren’t knotty. I know, this post probably doesn’t make sense. I’m going to keep on trying with the stitching and with people. Take care, hugs, -L