Something I never thought would happen

I realized this morning that I have screwed the pooch on something. I have no idea how to fix the problem, and I am not sure that to be honest I really want to do so.

The most common denominator in my problem is me. So, let’s draw a circle, and put my name in the middle. Draw a big box next to it, and list the problem. Draw a line between the circle and the box. Then off of the box, make smaller boxes with all of the contributing factors.

Dig deep, go back, years or decades even, and add more boxes. Everything that is contributing factor, gets it’s own box. Everyone who contributes, gets a circle.

Keep on going, deeper even, and draw lines between me and the boxes, things that I have indirectly or directly caused. There are many many boxes now. Hundreds. The lines form a spider’s web.

Looking at this mindmap, I’m the cause of the problem I have.

To simplify, I done gone and screwed up big. How to fix it? What to do about it?

Solutions go in triangles, and those get related back to the boxes and circles.

I have a lot of work to do, I think. Since this boils down to I caused so many problems, I have to change how I act or react to things.

This sucks. I’m at a sober bottom again. I need to pray, and to change.

Crap. -L