Redo


Morning all, yesterday, I ended up crying for about an hour. It was day 3 of a fibro flare, Thankfully, it was on a downward swing. However, we needed food in the house. My Husband sent me out with a wish list of noms.

What is a wish list of noms? He craves certain foods. I understand. He wanted Reubens and fries. Not boiled cabbage, just Reubens and fries. Since I had to head to my pharmacy anyway, I set out.

First stop was the thrift store. I snuck in and wanted the books. However, they’ve rearranged the place (again). [I have no clue why they do this every 3 weeks.] A 15 minute stop ended up taking 40. I also got a tiny little teddy bear toy box. 6 books, and a cute little thingamie later, I was out the door.

Across the road, pharmacy, I was put on hold for the pharmacist, to talk to me. I have no clue why, because I’ve been taking these medications for years. [I didn’t know being a repeat customer, meaning that diabetes has no cure, required a consultation.] Oh well. Then kitty whompus across the way, to the other store.

Here’s where I needed the redo. I didn’t get everything my beloved wanted. I got most of it, and substituted a few things for him. I did the whole, push the cart with the wheelchair deal. A couple of folks grabbed things off of the top shelves for me, because I am a short little sheet in the wheelchair. By this point, I had no stand up left in me.

My watch said I’d had only 300 steps in before I left. By the time I was done at the store, I was over 2000. Doing this in a wheelchair takes a little bit of effort. I did pick up a splurge item. Sour dough english muffins were on clearance. Nom. Then it was to the check out, and a lovely young man named Mario helped me to load the beastie.

Last stop of the day was at the gas station. By this time, I couldn’t move. Thankfully, they have a policy where if you can’t pump yourself, they will do it for you. My personal energy tank was on E. My blood sugar was dropping quick as well. Gary helped me with the car, and I drove home.

I could have used Mario and Gary once I got home as well. My Beloved can’t unload the groceries. He did have the garage door open, and the cart ready for me. However, by this time, I needed to freshen up a little. Okay, by this time, I was in total tears. I snuck to the necessary, and then went to my desk and sat down.

Too many humans, too much stimulation, and too much physical combined with a bottoming out blood sugar. I let the tears fall. My Husband understands. He let me cry for a few, and came to help me unload the car. He shut the garage door for me. [Note: our garage door is manual, not electric.] I pushed the groceries in in our buggy, and then started putting them away.

He stopped me, and asked me to go relax. He brought me some ice cream bars, and I had the cry I’ve been setting aside for awhile.

Sometimes, just sometimes, setting aside a good cry is needful. And then again, sometimes, like yesterday, a redo is needed. I have been putting off the tears for so damned long, that they just squoze out.

Young Master Duke made sure I knew he loved me, and licked my tears. He also ate the center of an icecream bar. I got the chocolate cakey bits.

Please take care of yourself today. Huge hugs my friends, I love you. -L

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