While he rests

Listening to a talk today about someone who swims against the tide.

I’m waiting, and I’m scared. He’s in bed, and I hope, and I cry, I pray. It’s the not knowing that is the worst. I keep looking at our marriage certificate. There’s no expiration date on it. Not one.

My homework assignment, focusing on the hope, and the positive is an evil one. I’m trying. He has nightmares, where he calls out for his Mom. I try to comfort him, and give him touch and love.

I once told a sponsee that you can’t keep pouring yourself out to everyone else, unless you plug yourself into a power greater than yourself. That’s how I am getting through right now. It’s how we are facing this. Personally, I’d like to take the grim reaper out back, whip them into oblivion, and lock the remains in a cage.

However, right now, we get by one minute at a time. Hugs, my friends, hugs.


The magic hour

Good morning all, it’s a quiet day in 2022. Duke and my Hubble are both sleeping soundly. I’m sitting here with my Big Buddy full of coffee, a water flask, and a 1 liter jug of pink lemonade.

It’s the time of day when I am unsupervised. The fellers are so cute, and I just want to lay back down and snuggle, but there’s so much I can get done when the boys are sleeping. I have my headphones on, and am listening to Sword and Scale or My Favorite Murder. I can stitch, and do research. I can get my step work done.

I do laundry, or maybe dishes while the boys are sleeping. I can organize my camping gear or sit and draw. It’s the magical hour, where as the only one awake, all the possibilities are here. I can even sneak in a nap myself, cuddling with Duke between us.

It’s the little things you appreciate, and the little things that make sense.

When I went through the nightmares of therapy, there was a huge focus on Mindfulness and One thing in the moment. I confess, there were many times I ignored most of the crap they proposed in that group setting, but some small things stuck. In this case, the one thing, appreciating it, and enjoying just exactly that one thing stuck.

Then again, we have the whole Wise mind distracts. That’s why I am listening to a podcast, and I am settled in to write.

Hugs my friends. While Marsha Linehan was a quack of the highest level, the sources she stole most of DBT from where useful. I hope you have a lovely day.

Disclaimer: This is a pre-canned post. Hope you understand. Thank You.