A glitch in the system


Hello all, welcome to another five minutes in my brain. Yes, I am weird, and if you have been following my blog for over five minutes, you will know this for a fact. Kinda like that “facts” guy on youtube shorts.

On the first of February, the Hubble noticed that I was feeling quite prickly. Ya think? Yes, I know, sarcasm is wrong. However, he decided to be incessantly sweet. He requested I order pizza for supper, and I requested his debit card to do so. I’m insane, but not crazy. Pizza delivery is a 50 dollar meal in my home town. That’s outside of my price rance. I don’t like the same pizza he does, so I got myself a sandwhich and some bread puffs instead.

His pizza is just too damned salty for my liking. I may be large, but having a salt lick in the kitchen, just no. Anyways, Supper was pretty good, and I pushed my luck by cranking the furnace up to 75 for a few hours. I just couldn’t get warm enough. Even wearing multiple layers tucked under multiple blankets, could not get warm enough. When I shiver, it just hurts more.

We don’t have thermostat fights, ever, and he does know that I wouldn’t do it if I could just get above freezing. Sighs. It didn’t help that there were windchill warnings out that day. But we survived.

I played with my pencils for awhile, my yarn for awhile, and laid down with a book. Then the repercussions of every decision I have ever made decided to rear their ugly head. FFS. The gas, well it was a warning. Kind of like a guiser might burp a little a few minutes ahead of time. I didn’t have even that long.

Have you ever seen a wheelchair yeet its occupant at mach 80 across the house, barely avoiding the dog, and said occupant praying for peace? Imagine the results. There’s a small step between the main house and the bathroom. The wheelchair does not fit through that door. I missed the sink with my body, and lurched to the important part of the evening.

To whomever discovered the miraculous properties of Bismuth liquid, I salute you. However if I had bowed, at that time, I would be terrified of releasing the kracken all over again.

If only the Hubble had had his phone out and ready to record, I am sure that a gif of my careening past going “MOOOOOOVe” would be a hit.

Please stay safe, and think twice about ordering a sandwhich from a pizza parlor. -L

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