Looking at the joys in addition to the problems


When I was new in recovery, we had a bitching meeting. It was cathartic. We sat and vented about everything that was wrong in the world and our lives. We didn’t offer help to each other, we didn’t try to solve each other’s problems. We just vented, got the pressure out, and moved on with our lives. It was the meeting I looked forward to the most each week.

Eventually, that meeting died, possibly the chairperson went back out, I don’t really remember. However, I also remember that I needed to focus on reality, a huge homework assignment that my sponsor asked me to do.

Reality is, even though life is painful, and crap happens, there are good things that happen as well. Even though the coffee gets spilled, supper burns on the stove, the grocery order goes awry… There are good things.

Even the more tragic events, a good friend has a cancer diagnosis and is fighting for their life… a parent dies… a job is lost… there are good points in life.

It might not feel like it at the time. It might even feel like the world is out to get ya, but there are good things.

For instance, our hot water heater is out. It pees more than our dog. We still have water. We can heat that water on the stove, if need be. Supper burns, there’s something else to eat.

A good friend has a fight for their life against cancer. There are the phone calls we can still share, and time with each other one minute at a time. The distance hugs to be given.

A lost job, the stress of that job is off your shoulders. Etc…

I’m not talking about being a Polyanna specifically, but looking at the silver lining.

Then again, there’s the recovery part of this. The 3rd step taught me that I don’t have to handle all of this alone. I don’t have to carry the load. I can reach out to another person in recovery. I can lend an ear, if I can give a hug. I can get the experience, strength and hope of another alcoholic or addict when all hell is breaking loose.

I can give my experience as well. I can reach out to another alcoholic or addict when I want to use. The books of both fellowships talk about focusing on helping others when the worst is happening in our own lives. We don’t have to drink or pick up as a solution to our problems.

There’s always something.

Why do I write this blog? Because there are times when reaching out to you, the folks who read this blog is about the only thing I can handle in a 24 hour period to pull me through the chaos. So, in this case, I do practise what I’m asking you to do.

Give you a chuckle? Right now, the water heater is kaput. I’ve been disowned by my father, a good friend has cancer, my husband is in constant pain, and I have stepped down from a service position.

I’ve talked all of this through with my sponsor, I’ve prayed about it, and we are going to be okay. Even wheelchair bound, we are going to be okay.

Hugs my friends, take care. -L

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