Soul Sucking Fear

Morning, it’s almost 5 in the morning. My sister is busy getting Dad up for the day, and is going to be taking him to the VA. He’s having surgery this morning. He’s afraid he won’t be coming out of the surgery.

I have tried a few times to reassure him, but fear is like that. She just messaged me that he couldn’t sleep last night, but didn’t want to get up this morning, acting like a teenager. With Dad, it’s like herding cats sometimes to get him here and there.

I get it. I really do. when the bones don’t want to move, and the body says oh hell no. When the anxiety is through the roof, it’s hard to get motivated, let alone sleep.

I’m in his shoes on that. The night before something, I can’t sleep to save my arse. I didn’t sleep worth a damn myself last night, and am waiting to call him quick to give him a verbal hug.

Today is a day of prayer, and hoping. I need to leave Dad in God’s hands. -L

Note: Dad’s surgery was the 25th of October, 2021 this post was written that morning.