Tomorrow I will be 49. I sit here, getting ready to head out on an adventure, and I realized it, I haven’t thought about you in weeks. I haven’t greeted you when I woke up, and I haven’t said “I love you Mom.”
When you died July 4th, 2004, the world ended. Everything I knew crashed down. You and Dad had been divorced since I was 4 years old, and another woman raised me from the age of 5 onwards.
It wasn’t your fault. It never was. It wasn’t Dad’s fault either, it just happened that way. Tonight, I miss you more than ever. It’s the last night you carried me inside of you. It’s the last night I heard your heartbeat as my only world. It’s the last night we were truly alone without anyone else.
49 years ago, I started a new adventure as of tomorrow. I wonder what your thoughts were on the day you held me in your arms for the first time. I wonder what you thought, and what you felt.
I miss you so much, and I love you just as much today as I did the first day of my life. Thank You Mom. -L
AnonymousKnitter 