Facing fear

Morning, second cuppa decaf is ready, and the dogs are outside sniffing around.

Today is day four of heavy anxiety. It is part of life. I am still maintaining for the most part with only one anxiety cancellation.

What is an anxiety cancellation? It is a planned event that I cannot make it to. Fear keeps me home.

This is the first four day anxiety streak in about 3 years.

So, what am I going to do about it?

On Sunday, I set it aside. I took Dad to Mass and afterwards we went to cards. The roads were slicker than snot, but we made it.

However, yesterday I stayed home all day. Today, I have to leave the house again.

Dad and I are heading to an appointment for his skin cancer. It’s been a normal that two or three times per year, the Dr removes more skin cancer. This morning we are going to run errands, and then the VA.

I have been doing all of the tricks I learned in recovery and other places to keep the fear down to a roar.

Yesterday, I turned to knitting to calm down. My dog decided to eat my knitting, and my needles. I blew my stack, verbally. I then cleaned up the mess, and put myself in time out. Dad understands, and knew that I needed to get a handle on my anger before bed.

Anger is a twin sister to fear in my book.

So, what will I do today about the emotional train wreck running through my head?

I will write, and keep writing, until the fear passes. I will take care of my blood sugar, and my health. When I am overwhelmed, I will take a break.

So, I need to repack my bug out bag, with anxiety in mind, and get to work.