I cannot emphasize enough the value of keep on going. Life in recovery is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is harder than giving my only child up for adoption. It means that I have to trust that God knows what is best for me, and I have to trust in God’s love.
In this case, I am talking about my own higher power. Please, for your own uses, choose whatever higher power that can keep you sober as is needed.
Giving in, and giving up on sobriety slams the door in the face of everyone who has ever loved me. It also slams the door on all of the effort put into my own recovery. I know, I know, this sucks. It is rough. There are emotions, and thoughts rolling through your head at Mach 80. I know that life is hard. I know that working the program, and going to meetings on top of life’s other challenges is just too much.
Yet you are worth it. The reason I know this? I felt the exact same way. There were days when I screamed out loud, “Why the F*** am I still sober!?!” There are times when I have cried and laid in bed, terrified of what I was capable of.. Yet, I know, I know, that this is the best solution for me. I know full well what waits for me if I go back out there. I choose to fight and to keep fighting this disease. I know you can get through the dark times too.
Just keep on trying, keep on moving, and keep on doing.
Huge hugs, may God be with you today on your journey.