Time Out

Sometimes in the game of life, and especially in recovery, a timeout is needed for sanity’s sake. As is my usual, here are a few examples.

It is a hot summer day, I am dressed conservatively, due to illness and preference. I am sitting in front of the fan, and my frustration levels are high. I feel sweat trickling down my back as I try to explain for the fifteenth time the situation over the telephone to someone. I am not being heard.

It is time to take a time out. I hang up the phone, and power it off. I get up and grab an iced coffee or tea, walk around, and maybe even go out and sit in the shade. Then after I have calmed down and perhaps even cooled off, I can return to the phone call.

Group conscience meeting, the group is trying to decide the color of napkins to use at an upcoming event. Actually, it is not necessarily a group conscience decision, however one of the members is quite anal about trifles. I am not a position holding member of the group, as I am not GSR, Treasurer, Secretary or any of the other positions available.

I get up and go to the bathroom. I grab another cup of coffee. If they are not done discussing the ephemera of B.S. I go outside and grab a smoke. I am not a part of this problem, I do not need to be a part of this decision. Who cares whether the napkins are white or big book blue anyways?

For weeks, I have had migraines, and I am called repeatedly by someone who is “just checking up on me.” The sound of my own voice hurts, the sound of my own breathing hurts. I am in a darkened room, and I have all the windows shut and curtained to block out the light.

I silence my phone. Seriously? I don’t need to be checked up on 15 times in a 12 hour period. I will call you back when I feel more human.

The AA meeting is running 45 minutes past close time. I have been trying to be respectful, but the cross talk is getting to be a bit over the top. I need to get my Dad from the church and dinner made.

I quietly gather my things, head quietly for the door, and try not to squeal my tires on the way out of there.

Sometimes, just sometimes enough is enough. A short break, a pause, when agitated or doubtful, where I ask God for direction is much better than raising my voice and losing my cool.

That’s all I have for today. Take care, may God be with you in the fellowship of the spirit.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s