I have been struggling with this blog post for several days now. I was hoping to make this into a series on relationships in recovery. It has been rough going.
In accordance with the rules I follow, handed down from on high by my sponsor, I must be honest here. I must also not suggest anything I have not done. I had grand dreams about writing a lovely post about applying traditions to family life. The truth is, I am not very good at it. I looked closely at my relationships within my family, and found a few resentments that I need to let go of. I also saw that I do not do very well at working the traditions. I would love to say that I am an innocent, and that I am a saint.
I am not.
I do the best that I can with what I am given. I have goals, and ideals, but again, I do not do well at being a family member in recovery.
Here is how it is supposed to work. I am supposed to keep my family first, to value unity, and promote peace in my family. The truth is, I have seriously been considering a divorce and I have been focusing on personal problems versus focusing on reality.
I am supposed to be keeping God first at home and at meetings. However, I fall short of that ideal as well. My first thought of the day usually is, where is the bathroom? My second thought is usually looking for the first cigarette of the day, not where is my Bible and let’s plug away at those daily homework assignments.
I also am supposed to be focusing on taking care of my own home first, and then recovery. The truth here is that I am a horrible house keeper, and I am way behind on the chores.
So, where does that leave living the program in family life?
I am human, just like everyone else. I do the best I can, and I fall short most days. I pick on my siblings, and I bug my Dad. I do not get as much done in a day as I could or should do. There just is not enough time.
I am not qualified to give advice, I just do what I can do.
That’s all I have for now, feel free to comment below if you have any questions.
Take care,
justanotheralcoholic
AnonymousKnitter 