This morning, this post is late. I prefer to write first thing in the morning while my coffee is brewing in the kitchen. My office is in the bedroom, and I usually write while having cigarettes at my desk.
This morning, however, I overslept and my sister is on vacation. I let the dog in for his breakfast. The house was cold, 62* cold, and I had to shut all of the windows. Coffee didn’t sound good, so I made a cup of tea. I ended up calling my sister, something I never do before writing, and I also called my boss. I handled business and personal things this morning before I touched my sobriety.
In the back of my mind, the words First Things First rattled through my brain. I was impatient to get to my recovery work. I was impatient to get this essay written. I wanted to get my homework done and the essay edited and online.
Let’s go back in time, early in sobriety, the slogans were just words on the wall, and on a page in the Big Book. I didn’t apply them to my life, and I certainly didn’t crack the book for awhile.
I thought that they were nice ideas, but again applying them to my life didn’t mean much to me.
Finally, I read those words in italics on page 135.
“First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It”
I had no clue what they meant, so I asked a silly question.
I was told that “First things First” meant that I needed to prioritize. I had to figure out what my top priority was in my life, and arrange my life accordingly. I was told to put the answer on paper, and live my life to that principle.
Ugh. More homework.
So, being a good little alcoholic, I put it off. That worked well, until I was asked ‘How’s your homework coming?’ I had no clue what they meant, and then they said, ‘First Things First?’ Oh crap, I’d been caught. So, I begrudgingly went home and actually did it.
I realized that God was first in my life. Sobriety came second, and family third. I also realized that other things crowd out God and Sobriety in my life quick, unless I am fast on my feet. I had to learn the word, “No” and mean it.
What does this have to do with this morning?
In my call to my beloved sister, we discussed an upcoming excursion. She had been invited to have a few beers with the girls. She doesn’t want to go have beer. So, she was going to tell them an answer that aligned with her beliefs. It will work. In my head, being a good little alcoholic, I thought, ‘Why not just say that beer is not your thing?’ or say that ‘I’m taking a medication that makes drinking beer not a smart idea.’ Both of those answers are the truth. However, she is going to stick to her guns and use her beliefs as a reason.
On thinking about it, I realize that my sister is not an alcoholic like me. I love her to bits. She doesn’t have to come up with strange answers to strange questions to protect her anonymity. So, back to First Things First. I needed to put my sister first this morning, and think of her needs before my own.
It also goes back to the four absolutes. Was my solution absolute honesty? Not really, I was coming up with an honest plausible versus the real truth.
In first things first living, the truth is a double edged sword. I have so much work to do on it yet, sticking to not just my priorities, but to God’s that I fall short most of the time. I am a work in progress. I’ll keep working God’s program, and see what His plan is for me.
That’s all I have for today. As usual, if you have any questions, feel free to email me at justanotheralcoholic@yahoo.com
AnonymousKnitter 