⦁ We start with a dictionary. Write down the definitions of the fourth step. Made… A… &etc…
⦁ Read pp. 63-71 4th edition BB, Read pp. 41-54 12×12. Highlight the lines that resonate with you, key points. Take notes. Write down questions. Look up the definitions to any words you don’t know and write them in the margins of your book. (Hint: This is for future use, and proof that you have read the material. If you have highlighted every line on every page, this is not proof of reading it, just laziness.)
⦁ Pray daily to your HP for the courage and strength to work this step. Here is the proof that the first three steps actually work in our lives. We use the first three steps to get through the pain of the fourth step. If you are an alcoholic/addict like me, then there is so much pain and chaos that led you to this point. Turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God, believing that God can restore us to sanity, and realizing that we can’t handle life on life’s terms anymore, helps me to deal with the damage I’ve done.
⦁ Meet with me, and we’ll go through this together to get started.
⦁ If you are having trouble, I can and will help you. You may have to go back year by year, month by month. We didn’t get this way over night, so we will have quite a bit of digging to do.
⦁ LIST I RESENTMENTS
⦁ It’s much easier if we use a ruler and divide these lists into columns.
⦁ We list our resentments: People, places, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. (p. 64 BB)
We ask ourselves why we were angry. (p. 64-65 BB)
⦁ Just fill in the Second Column.
⦁ How does this affect me? Self-Esteem, Security, Ambitions, Personal Relationships, Pocket book, Sexual Relations, Fear
⦁ Just fill in the column for each entry on the list.
⦁ Page 67 BB paraphrased… We have to think of these differently. It’s time to start praying. Add all these names etc… To a Prayer list. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. This is a sick person, how can I be helpful to them, God save me from being angry, Thy will be done. (Separate List) Start praying for them. We ask God to mold our ideals, and help us to live up to them. P 69 BB
⦁ Referring to our list again:
Where were we selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, or frightened?
⦁ Where were we to blame? P 67 BB
⦁ WHERE WAS I TO BLAME?
⦁ What sin was involved? Here I also use the 7 deadlies listed on P. 48 12×12
⦁ Pride, Greed, Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Anger, Sloth
⦁ 7 DEADLY SINS
⦁ Pride, Sloth
⦁ Whom had we hurt? P. 69 BB
⦁ Was I self-pitied or depressed?
⦁ Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy suspicion, or bitterness? P. 69 BB
⦁ What should we have done instead? P. 69 BB
⦁ Was the relationship selfish or not?
⦁ Was I filled with anger, worry, self-pity or depression? P. 69 BB
LIST II FEARS
⦁ We listed our fears even though we had no resentments involved with them.
⦁ Treat the same as resentments list; add these columns where applicable…
⦁ Has self-reliance failed us?
⦁ Did we set the ball rolling? (Are we at fault?)
⦁ Read page 251 and page 551 BB
⦁ We ask Him to remove our fears and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once we commenced to outgrow fear. P. 68 BB
LISTS III AND IV SEXUAL INVENTORY, PERSONAL RELATIONS, and PEOPLE WE HAVE HARMED LISTS…
⦁ Repeat the same columns as the resentments list, and take a look at each relationship. Add every name to the prayer list…
What follows is a template I made up to give you an idea of what to look for. This is NOT AVAILABLE TO DOWNLOAD AND PRINT OUT. Just do like hundreds of thousands of alcoholics have done before you, grab your ruler and get to work.
LIST V FINANCIAL INVENTORY
⦁ Gather all of your bills together, write down what you owe, and to whom. Treat similarly to the resentments list.
⦁ Now, how to pay people back?
⦁ Here’s what I am doing, I pay essential bills every month. (Auto pay does help in certain circumstances.) Essentials are those things which keep life going. Utilities, Rent/Mortgage, Groceries need to get paid. However, we aren’t talking about steak dinners and going out to eat. We’re talking about healthy meals, most likely made at home. It’s not often I eat out. With my creditors, I pay them back a minimal amount each month. It’s a matter of paying things the best we can.
⦁ If you truly can’t handle this, then financial workers are sometimes available through the county or the state.
LIST VI EMPLOYMENT INVENTORY
⦁ Go through the complete employment history, if you have been dishonest, have lost jobs etc… treat like the resentments list, focusing on the harm we have done.
Now, you have probably written quite a bit. Call your sponsor, get together, and go through it. Huge hugs!
If you have any questions, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org