Day: July 2, 2015

Hello all,
It’s been a busy day. The pain is still there, and I started with a few more unpleasant symptoms tonight. I see the Dr on Monday.
Meanwhile, I made Supper for the men. I diced up ham and put it in the pressure cooker with spring onions, potatoes, dill, paprika and cumin. I topped it off with chicken stock mixed with a little flour. I put it on 10 pounds pressure for about 15 minutes, and Supper was ready. It ended up being a form of scalloped potatoes and ham. It worked, and the fellers loved it.
I finally broke down and used the mosquito spray that has been sitting on the back shelf for awhile. I don’t like it because it affects my breathing, but it’s only slightly better than the alternative of getting attacked by about 7000 mosquitoes.
Evil insane little demonic monsters. I hate them with a passion.
Meanwhile, I’m sticking with liquids for myself, as the pain just isn’t worth the effort of solids at this time. Again, I see the Dr on Monday.
Tim helped me with the chores, or I’d still be there trying to get any of them started. He learned that the wringer washer and I are best buddies. At least while I’m feeling like this.
Some of the clothes didn’t come out as well as I would like them to, however I’m at the point of desperation that a few stains are nothing compared to wearing mostly clean clothes.
I wore sweats all day today, and I’m not planning to change until morning.
I’m half tempted to sleep on the deck tonight. Pain level being what it is the recliner we have out there is almost the only comfort I get at this point. If I do, I will use a sleeping bag, and just plug in my phone. I just can’t handle the pain tonight.
The main worry with this problem is that I’m diabetic. This isn’t my first rodeo. Since I’m on a liquid diet, I am taking Metamucil, well at least a generic version. However, we do have fruit juice in the house. So, I’m using that to keep my sugars up at a satisfactory level. Solid food, no way in heck it’s going to work.
By the way, I was asked today if the smell of the food I was cooking bothered me, as in wasn’t I hungry. The answer I gave was, “Just go eat.” In reality, it wasn’t appealing. The pain just isn’t worth it. The caveat on this: I’d do anything for a corndog right now. Oh well, life gets teejious don’t it…
That’s all for tonight. Take care.
Louise Ann Benjamin

Gotta love the pain, it lets me know I’m alive.
Here’s where we are at:

1. Chickens are fed and watered
2. The rabbits are fed and watered
3. Some weeding has been done (to feed the chickens and the rabbits)
4. A load of laundry is rinsing
5. The dogs have been walked (down to the chicken pens and back)
6. Using the wringer washer to do the wash is not cheating, it’s just about all I can handle today
7. 3 cups of coffee have been drunk
8. Lost my Tylenol bottle, *&^%^$%#$#
9. I haven’t eaten yet today, food makes the pain that much worse
10. Not going to eat today, food makes the pain that much worse
11. I filled out a form, and sent it off with the required pictures to either get a refund for my fitbit or a replacement. (My fitbit broke)
12. I updated my phone to the ios 8.4 
13. I updated iTunes
14. I’m not impressed with the updates yet
15. I downloaded a new web browser for both laptops
16. I am impressed with the new web browser
17. I deleted 90 emails
18. I smoked half a pack of cigarettes (the only thing that doesn’t increase my pain)
19. I organized my desk a little (by accident, really)
20. I watched some stupid youtube videos
21. I talked on the phone 3 times
22. I prayed
23. I faked feeling good enough to do the work I did
24. I vetoed breakfast and lunch
25. I sat on the deck in my chair and whimpered, and I’m heading back there in a minute.
26. I’m in pain, I mentioned that didn’t I?

That’s about it.
Louise Ann Benjamin

Good morning,
I’m curled up in a sleeping bag on the deck. Pain again, and it’s become so normal that trying to focus on anything else is hard. I see the Dr. on Monday.
Last night, late, I checked my debit card balance, and finally purchased Demi Lovato’s version of “Let it Go”. Somehow, the song helps with the pain when nothing else will.
Again, Music helps. It gives me something to focus on when I want to scream. Tim made coffee this morning, and that’s about all I was going to get accomplished so far anyways. Thankfully, he grabbed my mini laptop for me, so I can write. Just being curled up in a ball is enough right now.
Meanwhile, I am not going to focus on much more than just getting better. Tomorrow, we need to go to town, and I’m going to ask one of the men to drive. That’s about all I can ask. There are errands to run that can’t be put off.
Dad’s cell phone is dying, and he is due for a contract renewal. So, that’s the first stop of the morning. Then it’s the bread store. I think that the men can walk in for that one. After that, we need to get groceries. The farm payment is somewhere in there, and there is a little Catholic Book store I want to stop at. That’s about the only other place than the cell phone store that I need to personally walk into. The men can handle the rest. Thank God. I’m thinking being curled up in a ball in the car seat is about it for the day. I will hand them my debit card for what needs to be done.
At this rate, I’m going to get going back to bed soon. Just finding the strength to get up and head that way is a treasure.
Letting it go, one minute at a time,
Louise Ann Benjamin