20152906 Evening Edition

I’m at the point, that I am sure that my body is out to get me. I’m tucked into bed, and am waiting for sleep to hit. It’s been one of those days.
Supper for me was a simple cheese sandwich. I couldn’t eat much more. I’m learning to just wait and scream later when the pain hits.
I didn’t get much done at all today. The trip to town was the big part of it, and I did get the chickens and the rabbits fed and watered. I guess that’s about it.
Pain level is currently holy crap.
Why don’t I take a pain pill? That’s easy to answer. Most prescription medications have side effects. Prescription pain meds screw with my brain. First, I don’t like the sedative side effect. Believe me, the pain is actually better in my book than messing with my brain. Second, once I take the pain medication, then I crave it. It’s how my brain is made. I can’t undo it, I can’t change it, and I don’t want to wake that sleeping dragon.
Here’s what happens inside my head. “I really hurt, I just took one, but it’s been 15 minutes, and it’s not working yet… I need another.” Then my brain looks for every excuse to get another pill. Another thing can happen in my head, I can’t control my moods and emotions when I take the pills. It’s like my internal editor and regulator gets shut off.
It’s like this. (Do not try this at home.) Take a pressure cooker. Fill it half full of water. Clamp on the lid. Put it on the stove, on high, and walk away.
In this analogy, the stove is the pills. I’m the pressure cooker. Keep me away from the stove, and I’m fine most of the time. However, the longer I’m on the stove, or the pills, the harder the crap I normally control tries to get out. Keep me on the pills/stove long enough, and boom. Total destruction. Believe me, I’ve been there often enough, under Dr supervision no less, and boom! It always happens.
There is no “Getting away with it.”
Want the process to work even faster? Just add alcohol. Takes about 5 minutes instead of the longer time frame established by the pills.
Long story short, I get medically supervised for pain medication.
Otherwise, I take Tylenol, rarely. I just deal with the pain the way I always do. I ask God for help.
This doesn’t make me a martyr, it just makes me a woman who absolutely does not drink/drug ever.
That’s all for now, I’ve got to get to sleep. I’ll be back in the morning with another edition.
Have a good night,
Louise Ann Benjamin


20152906 Afternoon Edition

Hello all,
It’s almost 6PM here on the farm. The critters are fed, watered, and ornery. Bo had to help me get the chickens watered. She guarded the gate to make sure that pesky rooster didn’t come out. I was grateful. Feeding and watering the birds takes allot outta a body. I’m whipped.
The pain levels are low enough that I am able to head in and do town work on Wednesday. I’m still in pain, but as far as I can tell, the town work is going to be mostly computer work. I believe a few irises were mentioned, but I can get those done carefully in the early morning.
Dad just came in and announced that we have two missing screws. That’s nothing new. We always have a few screws loose around here. We do have the black eyed peas up, most of the blue hubbard squash came up, and the weeds are about 6 feet tall in the garden.
Dad’s been helping all week in Garretson since the storm. The only days he didn’t go in were yesterday and today. One thing I have noticed, helping others is making him more spry, maybe a little more mischievous. That’s a good thing. I’m thinking that we could work with this.
Other than that, there are many things to do yet today, and we can’t open the windows yet. In fact, going outside to smoke a cigarette is a punishment in itself. It’s too humid, too sticky and too hot to breathe. I tease my cousin Bob down in Arizona about the heat he gets, but he’s not willing to come up here to face the humidity. I don’t blame him. I don’t want to here.
We keep the dehumidifier running once the temps get to be about 50* at night. However, laying down or sitting next to a panting dog is a misery. She can’t help it, but Lordy.
I’m rambling at this point, so I better get this one out to the Blog.
Have a great Afternoon,
Louise Ann Benjamin

20152906 Midday Edition

Hello all,
Dad and I have been busy. We had errands this morning that could not be put off another day, so we got up well before I was ready, and hit the road. I’m dressed in what could best be described as my best business or funeral attire. Sadly, it is black, and doesn’t breathe. I do not recommend wearing basic black with no breathing ability on a 80* day. It’s miserable. Since the care doesn’t have A/C, I was sweating buckets by the time we were done. The only caveat I have when wearing business attire is that I won’t wear high heels unless demanded by circumstances. Today, circumstances didn’t warrant that drastic measure. I’m so grateful.
However, we have our town chores done for the day, and I can finally relax. Maybe tonight I will get some sleep. One thing I do know, is that my pain level has eased up quite a bit. I’m much more comfortable now than I have been in days. In the last two nights, I’ve had 6 hours total of sleep. One thing, as miserable as I am, the stress level is dramatically decreased, and my abdomen doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it usually does.
Next on the agenda is making a bit of Dinner, and throwing Supper in the crock pot on the deck. I’m also going to get some bread started for tomorrow morning, so that we can have some good wholesome yummy to make our world better. Also, there are farm chores to do, and in the clothes I am in, well- it just doesn’t work for feeding the chickens and rabbits, let alone weeding the garden.
By the way, we do have some chickens ready to butcher, and I’ve got to get the butchering area set up. It’s also my laundry zone, so you have an idea of what is involved.
Well, I have to get back to work, take care all.
Louise Ann Benjamin